A Question of Calling

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I’m going to start this blog with a confession: I don’t believe that God ever called me to blogging.

Sure, it’s something that he has used to help me to grow, and (hopefully) a few other people along the way. But I can’t honesty say that it was something that he told me to do. I guess that it was something that I stumbled into at a time when I needed a creative outlet, and two and a half years, and two blogs later, I just haven’t given up yet!

Why is it then, that in most other areas of my life, I am unwilling to take a risk without being one hundred percent certain that it is what God wants me to do.

I don’t know about you but I can spend hours and hours going around in circles, trying to work out what God wants me to do in the future. Questions like: Does God want me to stay here, or move there? What does he really want me to do? Should I take that risk, play over and over. Continue reading

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If Not This, Then Something Better

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At the moment I am going through the rounds of applying for a new job. It is a tedious as it is time consuming. The thing is: every now and again, I see the job that I really like the look of. I can’t help but get my hopes up and pray, Lord is it this one? Is this the one that you have for me. Sometimes I think I pray that, just because I want to have a permanent job, and a little more certainty about the future, because working through agencies is a pretty unstable way to live. Continue reading

This Moment

IMG_1002Most of the time we spend most of the time worried about what we need to do, or worrying about what we didn’t do.

One foot in the past and one in the future and our head full of worry and confusion.

The sick thoughts of mistakes and what ifs, the questions for tomorrow and the fears for the future take over and we forget to actually live today.

Right now. This moment. You can take your mind of the worry and you can find peace. Continue reading

Emotions of Easter: Despair

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To us this is the day between Good Friday and Easter Sunday. The day after Jesus died, but the day before he rose again.

To Jesus’ followers, this was only the day after Good Friday. They didn’t have the anticipation of waiting for Easter Sunday. All they had was the sorrow.

And imagine how deep that sorrow must have been. Not only had their leader died, (and one of their closest friends betrayed him, then killed himself) they had lost their whole purpose in life.

For years their life had been following Jesus. They had given up their jobs, and secure stable lives for him. Now that Jesus was dead, what did they have left to live for? Their lives had been totally turned upside down. They must have felt completely let down, as if they had no hope on that day.

As Christian, I think we are often living in that Saturday frame of mind. We can look around the world and see so much pain and suffering, and really at times it all feels too much.

Maybe, you personally feel like you are living in the despair and hopelessness of the Saturday. It feels like everything used to be so good. That you were walking closely with God, but somehow, things have happened, and it feels like he is distant that.

Even though naturally, we may be living in the Saturday. Super-naturally, we can live with the hope of Sunday.

We have the hope that one day God will make sense of the pain and suffering, and that one day it will be no more.

Emotions of Easter: Guilt

IMG_0597-0It’s almost impossible to put into words the greatness of what Jesus did for us on that first Good Friday. I know that I definitely am unable to do it justice. However I start to explain it, it somehow feels weak in comparison to the power of what Jesus has done for us.

As I was reading about Jesus crucifixion, one of the things that struck me were the actions of some of the disciples leading up to it. A lot of people had a lot to feel guilty that day, not only Judas, but the other disciples as well.

Peter had a lot to regret, not only had he denied knowing Jesus. He had also fallen asleep, along with James and John, when he was supposed to be watching over him.

Imagine how the three of them must have felt, when just a short while later, Judas approached to have Jesus arrested. This was the last chance they had to spend time with Jesus, before his death, and they had just blown it!

Imagine how they must have felt when he was sent to be crucified, knowing the suffering that he was going through, and realising they didn’t take their last opportunity to support him.

Imagine how they must have felt as he was dying, realising just how badly they had let him down.

Looking at the cross, it’s sometimes hard to remember that we share in that same guilt. That it’s our sin that put Jesus on the cross. Like the disciples, we have taken our eyes off Jesus, we have been selfish and we haven’t trusted him when we should have.

When we look at the cross this Good Friday it should convict us, we should feel guilty about the things that we have done. If we don’t feel this way, our faith must be very shallow indeed. After all Jesus took the punishment that we deserved to endure, and that is not fair.

But Jesus did it because he loves us.

We should take time to reflect on our guilt and shame, because without it, the cross is meaningless. Without it we would never be able to understand just how much Jesus loves us.

We shouldn’t stay in that place of guilt though. We have been forgiven from all the things we have done to put Jesus on the cross. We can open our hands and let go of them. The disciples were given another chance when Jesus came back to life again. And so are we.

Sounds of Freedom 6

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Today Adam is sharing his favourite worship song and how it has impacted his faith. I am excited to share this post, as although I’ve not known Adam long, it’s obvious just how much he loves Jesus, and wants to share His message of freedom. And he’s actually sharing a song that I had never even heard before!

Hi Adam, what is your favourite worship song and why?

My favourite worship song is No Longer Slaves by Bethel. It’s such a powerful song, and so meaningful to me, as when I first heard it I was going through a really hard time.

Why was that?

When I first heard this song I was so broken; full of fear, which lead to prison sentences and drug and alcohol abuse and suffering from bad paranoia. I walked in that church that day absolutely broken, tears streaming my face, as I’m no longer a slave to fear I am a child of God was played from the worship team. God really touched my heart that Sunday morning. He told me directly that I was no longer a slave to fear. I was his child. It’s a moment I’ll remember for a lifetime.

Is there a particular line that spoke to you?

Yes, the line is

you split the sea so I could walk straight through, my fears are drowned in perfect love.

There was a time where I couldn’t see a way a through anything.  This just reminds us how God makes a way, even when we see no way.



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In Adam’s own words: I’m from Worksop and am an ex-drug-addict who’s been saved by God’s grace. I’m now in a bible school, learning about the bible in the mornings, and going out on outreach in the afternoons 2 days a week, helping those still trapped in addiction. I love Jesus and I love people! Amen!


I am looking for more people to join in with this series, if you are interested please get in contact!

Journey Through Holy Week: Amazement

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Sometimes I read things in the bible that seem just plain weird. Like they don’t make any sense at all.

That happened to me last night. I was reading about how, the day after Jesus rode into Jerusalem, he walked back into town. On the way he started to feel hungry, and saw a fig tree. The only problem was that the fig tree was all fur coat and no knickers. (Or in this case all leaf and no fruit.) Jesus then rebuked the tree, saying it would never bear fruit again. The tree then shrivelled up and died.

This was not the part that didn’t make sense to me though. It was in the next line, which reads: The disciples were amazed.

Now, the disciples had been following Jesus for a long time. They had seen him heal the blind and lame, feed thousands with couple of fish and a few loaves of bread. They had even seen him raise the dead! But when they saw him make a tree shrivel up they were amazed.

In comparison to raising the dead, making a tree shrivel up doesn’t seem  that impressive. If I were one of the disciples I would have been asking Jesus for a better miracle!

Actually I think I do that in my own life as well.

I think that we all do. We can look at the things that God has done in our life in the past, and get angry and wonder why he isn’t blessing us like that anymore.

When actually he is still blessing us. We have just lost the wonder of it. Like an old married couple who no longer have anything to say to each other, we have let the spark in our relationship with God grow dim.

Or maybe you see what God is doing in somebody else’s life and get jealous, and question why God isn’t working in your life in the exact same way.

When he is blessing you just as much, just in a different way to your friends.

This week lets not lose the amazement of what Jesus has done in our lives.